Spring...Here and Gone!!

Spring came quickly seeing that I only had 4 weeks of Michigan winter before spring was in the air! I felt very motivated when we returned home from Colombia to accomplish many things...I expected to be organized, structured, and fully of energy...I did just come off of 10 1/2 weeks of not having to make meals, do laundry, or really think for that matter...just be mom to my kids (which was a challenging task given all the dynamics going on). I was ready to tackle life! As you can see below, I was even ready to dive in and tackle all the post-placement adoption paperwork (if you think it's a mountain before you leave, coming home, for me is a much greater a chore, after all, our girls are ours, why do we need to spend more money and time on translations, social security, Michigan birth certificates, passports)...ok, so, I had it all out, and bagged it...still need to take care of all of that...

...We did quickly get into a routine...and to my greatest surprise, both girls were way more adaptable then I ever expected or could have hoped for. I could wake Marta up from naps to drop Silas off to preschool, we could send them into Sunday School (only one intense tantrum from Caroline-kicking the teacher and screaming and kicking on the floor-who was so wonderful with her)...they love being in the van, and after having to do a little design work for John's customers, off we would go, and they were very content, no excited, because while driving in the van, Caroline discovered many new things that she has never seen before...

Below is one of our first pics of spring...heading off to church! I love Sunday mornings!

Ahhh...and this spring we began to start back up on our big project of a home...purchasing an old home has been a lot of fun, and a lot of work...John has been amazing with what he is turning this old house into...

...the old rotted wood siding came down...and the hardi board fiber cement went up (just finished today actually)...so, very soon we'll see some color on the exterior...thinking a dark charcoal/chocolate, with white trim...I can't wait!!

...I've been very fortunate by both sets of parents to be able to sneak away for a few hours and do a few field trips with Isabel and Silas...here is Isabel and friends at the Fredrick Meijer Gardens...


April is always a fun month with school because we have the Auction and the Family Fun Night...ok, I am not a fan of fun night, but, the kids would be devastated if we didn't go...so, off we went...Caroline and Silas both won a gold fish. Not to excited about that, especially since Caroline's fish didn't even live to make it home. Caroline has a VERY hard time when she watches things die (I let her watch "Charlette's Web"-big mistake-she wept on the couch for over 3o minutes when Charlotte died, I mean a grieve stricken weep!) So, when Mr. Fish died, we had quite the experience...as you can see below, Silas had a hard time being serious saying good-bye to Mr. Goldfish! But, Caroline worked through it and all is well...

...since the kids are in Spanish Immersion, they try and do South American type field trips if possible...below Silas's class went to an Al Paca farm to see these animals get shaved...interesting creatures...

...spring is our time for birthdays...everyone but Caroline has a spring birthday...you can imagine we heard, "It's not fair, Mommy." Yes, that would be in English...need I mention after 6 months of being in our home, Caroline is completely bi-lingual. AMAZING! In fact, she insists that Isabel and Silas speak to her in English, but, they are so used to speaking to her in Spanish, that they still most often forget and speak Spanish...

Below, Silas wishing me a Happy 35th birthday! Love my boy!

I had a lot of fun going to Silas' preschool class to celebrate Mother's Day (Feliz dia de Madre)...Silas was excited to sing a few songs and show me all of his projects and accomplishments. He had a really hard time in preschool during our transition time with the girls, but, the last month he really turned a corner, and is very excited to go to Kindergarten next year!

...Silas had a special Preschool Graduation, as you can see, he was very happy to receive his little diploma...

...ahhh, and can't forget the year end fiesta! What fun Silas had, not only with his classmates, but, even his little sisters...

El Puente at ZCS has the most amazing teachers...

John worked hard on our Spring Parade home. We are grateful to God that he provided the wonderful customers in Ed and Becky, and this home on Gun Lake to market our business...we all know the building market is down, and this job couldn't have come at a more timely season in our life...

...so, the last 2 weeks, John spent a lot of time sitting in this parade home...

...he just finished last night, so it feels like our summer is just beginning...

...Memorial Day Weekend was fun spent out at my parents on Mona Lake...

Caroline again proved how brave she was, not being able to swim at all, or little experience in the water, she was like a fish with Grandpa in the lake, and even went tubing with her cousins...

...Marta gets a big kick out of her Grandma Van...she loves a good time, and so does her Grandma...speaking of Marta, we feel she is really making progress...having taught her a little sign language, we are beginning to communicate, and she is less frustrated...we are working with "Early On" and have seen significant progress in the last couple of weeks...Marta has great potential, everyone can see that...

...Silas was just happy to have some more boys around for the weekend...thank goodness for boy cousins...

...Aunt Marcy took some time with the girls, and they were in their glory...you'd think they would be afraid on the seadoo, but, Caroline kept yelling, "faster, faster!" and little Marta just squeeled with delight...

...the day before school was out, I was able to do one more field trip with Isabel and friends to the museum and zoo...

...she was her goofy "free spirited" self...

Isabel ended her school year with her ballet recital at Turning Point...so sweet!

That's just a glimpse into our spring, we have been blessed by some dear friends in our lives that we have been able to hang out with over the past couple months, and I was even able to do a Beth Moore study in our home with some great women...I really can't even believe that Caroline and Marta could do that, but, they rolled with it, and are proving to feel very safe and secure in their new home.

Our goal all along in the beginning was to make them feel safe and secure. If I ever felt that we pushed them to far, or were "running" to much, I'd pull back...but, John and I both feel they have found a safe place in our home, they both are showing great signs of attachment, which was our prayer over the last year and a half (attachment disorder is very real for children who have been relinquished and had a lot of trauma-so we did not take this lightly when we pursued our adoption this time around)...bonding is a process...and every week we continue to progress as a family...we have not yet arrived, and yes, have had some small bumps and some big bumps along the way...but, God is in this, He is the reason our family looks the way it does...and though not all days are easy...we BLESS Him for allowing us to be the parents to 4 most precious children!

So...on to summer days...we need this time as 6 as I said before...some days it feels we have 2 seperate sets of kids. Isabel and Silas are so bonded, and Caroline and Marta are bonded...we need them all to come together to have that "shalom in the home" that we all desire...that is our prayer and our hope for this summer...

Marta turns 2!

Today Marta turned 2 years old! What an amazing little girl we are celebrating today!

I can't type that without being teary eyed! Marta has endured so much in her short 2 years of life, and I still am in awe of all that she has overcome in the last 6 months...

She continues to be such a delight to our whole family, even through her intense moments of tantrums and stubborness, she has the ability to capture your heart with her goofy personality, her short stocky little build, and her curious nature...

...in the last 6 months, she has gone from just starting to crawl to walking all over the house-pretty much owning it...she has gone from rejecting all solid foods, throwing herself into huge tantrum moments, to...well, let's just say food is still an issue, but, she is no longer rejecting it...she went from having some very long rough nights, probably "night terrors" to being one of our best sleepers in the house...for the longest time she was showing 0 signs of attachment, to beginning to recognize us as her daddy and mommy...and what we are most excited about is that she has gone from being totally locked within herself, saying nothing, to beginning to form sounds...Marta has definitely begun to come out of herself...We praise God for these things!!

She still has delays and struggles...that's just part of her story and who she is. Marta is one stubborn, strong-willed baby girl ! When she wants something she will take all measures to get it...below you will see her before a huge tantrum about not getting any more to eat...

Neglect is a very real thing, and honestly, it is probably the worst thing a child (for their brain and ability to attach) can endure....I believe that is what is triggering her need for food all the time, and still her ability to attach complety.

I share this because I know many are pondering adopting a child, and this can be a difficult issue that arises. But, thankfully, we have a God that is all-powerful, loving, and sovereign...and He is ABLE to redeem what the evil one so badly wants to destroy!

We've already seen His restoration begin, and that is a beautiful process to be a part of...the kids adore Marta, even when she pushing them out of her way, squeeling in frustration at them, getting into their things...it doesn't matter...they all love her...she is the "baby" of the family...and we are so blessed to have her in our lives! Happy 2nd Birthday, Marta!!

Many have been wondering how we are doing. I love you dear friends! I haven't been blogging in a while. But, YES, we are doing very good! I did not set any expectations on this adoption, none...how could I?! Every adoption is so different, every child is different...if you are reading along and are even adopting an infant, not one adoption journey will look the same, it's not supposed to.

With that being said, I can't wait to share all that God has been doing in the last 6 months within our family, the good stuff, the challenges, all of it...but, it has been one very crazy spring...we need to wrap up the school year and get through the Parade of Homes for our business. John and I are not going to fill our calendars so full with friends this summer, but, are planning to have a lot more family time than we were able to have this spring...we need to contiue to develop healthy attachment among each other...and our time together as 6 is critical for that to happen!

Happy Birthday, Isabel!!!

Our first born...turned 7 today! She is such a precious gift from God! Her gentle and free spirit has brought a love alive inside our hearts that we would never have known with out her!!!

We are so proud how she handled the past 6 months...she is maturing into an amazing young girl...

...we ended up having a birthday treat with my wonderful high school friend, and Isabel's dear friend, Heidi and Preslie! What a great girls day we had...in Chicago at, yah, you guessed it, The American Girl doll store! The girls were in "doll dream land" from the time we arrived to the time we came home...a full day with lots of giggles and fun!






For school Isabel had to write a few things about herself to share with the class, it was fun to read what she wrote as she had to give a little testimony (of course, she had to translate a bit for me, as most of it was in Spanish)..."Jesus is my friend. He loves me, and I love Him. He answered my prayers when he gave me a big family. He is my Savior, and he cares for me very much!" When she was all done writing she looked up at me very seriously and said, "Mom, He has really helped me come a long ways." I said, "What do you mean?!" She answered, "I really do love having my new sisters...yah, Caroline is pretty great!" The last month, Isabel has been rather tough on her new little sister, but, I can honestly say, I have seen a change of heart. For the first time since we have been home, she invited Caroline into her room and played with their dolls for a very long period, with giggles and laughter...watching her get out of the car, and wait for her little sister to walk with her, letting her little sister give her a huge birthday hug without pulling away, and hugging her back...it has been incredible to watch...

And John and I celebrated 13 years of wonderful wedded bliss yesterday! Well, it hasn't all been bliss, as anyone who knows/experienced the road of infertility, miscarriage, adoption, moving several times (to pay for the adoptions), and then adding more chaos into our lives with 2 more kiddos who have experienced some tough stuff...most wouldn't call that bliss...no, I probably wouldn't either...but, I can't imagine anyone else by my side during the last 13 years of experiencing such joy, loss, mess... and victories! And I can't imagine our family looking any different. John is an amazing godly husband and dad...loyal and true...and I am one undeserving wife and mom!!

Happy Birthday, Isabel...and Happy Anniversary, John!

Oh...and great picture of the 3 of us, Silas! Nice work!

Spring Vacation

School got out...and where did we head?! Well, it wasn't to Florida or any where too exciting. Colombia soaked up all our vacation time and fund...so, we stayed home! Who would have thought that the first day of spring break in Michigan would be a beach day!?!

That's right...73 degrees and a nice hazy sun...Caroline was in her glory! This is definitely going to be one of her favorite things to do during the summer...

...Silas ran around non stop the whole time...


...Isabel just happy to have a full day to play with her siblings...

...and Marta, well, let's just say, she wasn't all smiles...she is going to have to learn to like sand...can't wait for those warm summer days to play at the beach!

Feliz Cumpleanos, Silas!

Today Silas turned 5 years old! It was his special day. His request..."no girl things and no girls allowed!" So, that is what it was...he chose to watch his favorite movie, "Cars" and take a friend to Craigs Cruisers for a few hours. He was hilarious, and totally enjoyed his few hours of just being with the boys (and mommy- he told me that I was ok to come along only if I drove fast on the race cars)...

Reflecting on this last year, specifically since he gained 2 new sisters, we've seen him go through some really hard moments, easily angered, frustrated often, distracted at school, increased fears...but, through all of that...He is growing up before our very eyes...He is a little boy who cares deeply, is passionate about life...putting all he has into the people and things he loves...he is highly sensitive, loves our time (or anyone who will listen to his big imaginative stories)...

Silas is such a gift from God! Our family would not be complete without him! The other day I caught him under his play table, covered by blankets...I peeked in at him and he had his little night light on, his kids Bible, and was pretending to read the Bible stories...when he saw me he said, "Mom, don't interupt my time with God!" And if I ask him what his favorite thing to do during the week is...he tells me it's singing worship music to Jesus at Kidz Praise!

Some days it is easy for me to doubt how he is really doing when life just seems so hard for him...our family dynamics has rocked his world...it can get a little messy at times...but, God is so good! He has given me glimpses of those special moments where I see Him pursuing Silas, holding Him in the palm of His hand, letting our little boy have moments of peace and joy when he needs it most!

My prayer for Silas this year is that he continues to find great comfort and joy in singing praises to Jesus, that he continues to love to listen to Bible stories, and hide God's word in his heart. We're all a work in progress...it has been heart wrenching at times to watch Silas endure such a great change in his little world, but also rewarding to see him being molded into the little boy God desires him to be!

Our First Week Home

For me, it was a week of being very tired, letting the suitcases sit, letting my house be a total disaster...getting "reaquainted" with the kitchen, the wash machine, the school and church schedules...John and I figuring out how to do this thing called "family." It was a week of visitors, fellowship...and amidst all of that...a week nothing short of sheer JOY!! We had no idea how all our kids were going to respond, 2 of them to a new culture and way of life...life in Michigan is a much faster pace for our girls than what it was in Colombia...and things could not be going better!! Not to say that we don't have challenges, but, in reflecting on the last 11+ weeks much progress has been made...Here's a glimpse into our first week as 6 in Michigan...

Isabel and Silas were very excited for Caroline to play in the snow with them...she braved her first venture out in the freezing cold for about 10 minutes, and then decided it was nice, but, would rather watch the kids play out back from the kitchen window where it was cozy and warm...bless her little soul, the next day, she wanted to venture out with Silas while Isabel was at school. 2 minutes later, she came stomping in with blood all over her face...Silas had accidently hit her in the mouth with a shovel...she is a brave one...handled the episode with a few tears and forgiveness...and now very happy to venture out in the snow when big bro and sis come home after school (the shovels are put away)!!

Caroline could not wait to meet her new extended family...as you can see below she is very fond of Sawyer and Ally. She has already had an outing to their house, where John and I had to leave for 2 hours, and had a blast!! No fears, no worries...happy as can be!! This is the Caroline we are seeing more and more, as she is showing so much security with us, now that we are home. She does not test us like she used to, no more tantrums, less whining...I am so proud of her. Healing is taking place, trust is being built stronger...

Uncle Kevin and Aunt Marcy stopped by first...and after a minute, it was like the kids had known them all their lives...a big help to this was all the photos I could pull up on the computer of family while in Colombia...it was one of Caroline's favorite things to do...

...Cousins are the best...

...and then at night Uncle Curt and Aunt Kim's family came over with Grandpa and Grandma VS...they were all excited and happy to meet more new boy cousins...

Uncle Curt has a special gift with little ones...and within 2 minutes he already stole Caroline's heart...she did not want to let him go when it was time to go home...she keeps asking me when she gets to go visit their house...

Ahhh...our family and friends continue to amaze and bless us! From a freezer full of meals and goodies, to my cousin just making a meal for us tonight...to John coming home with a special gift from my friends at school...I could go on and on...one night we had so much fun opening the mail, where we each had a little note, a special request for each of us...and then a gift card for each of us to share with the rest of the family, from Captain Sunday, to Sweet Treats...Melinda and Brent, we had a blast with that...so creative!!!

Isabel has had a bit of a hard time wanting to let her little sisters in her room. Caroline is very curious, and wants everything that she has...Isabel has been pushing especially Caroline away...but, when bath time hits...it is a very special bonding time for them, and I can tell that in their hearts, they are really becoming "sisters."

Silas and Isabel have always enjoyed putting on "shows" for John and I. They both LOVE music, Isabel loves to dance, Silas loves making us laugh...and we are very happy to see that whenever they go off and "practice" they always include Caroline in this...another fun thing that is allowing them to slowly bond...we have found that Caroline is our "pleaser" and she wants to do everything well...encouragment goes a very long ways with her...

And yes, I did not forget about Marta. How could we?! She has done some very amazing things this week...our little strong-willed wonderful one has given us a few surprises...

She is WALKING...solo...no help...

She is always making all of us laugh...it's her mischevious personality, her buck teeth, her temper tantrums...It is not in John's personality to tease and pester, but, with Marta he just can't help it...

And...she is not spitting every solid food out anymore. We have witnessed her eating lasagna, soup, chicken, cereal, fruit...she still can get upset with her choice of foods, BUT, in 1 week, with not giving her any choices (hotel Paris was great...but, they loved serving her big helpings of oatmeal when she sqwaaked loudly...she learned quickly that wasn't going to happen at home)

...and if she is thirsty enough, she will drink out of a sippie cup...we have won this battle (most days)...and we all are happier!!!

When Silas is home, he and Caroline can play well together. I still have to put out a few arguments a day, listen to Caroline tattle repetatively, watch Silas come unglued on her or me when he thinks we just aren't being fair, and always keep a very close eye on 2 very curious 4 year olds...

When Silas is at school, I will find Caroline "mothering" Marta...although Marta does not respond well to her "mothering" as Marta likes to be in full control of their play...as you can see below, Caroline just wants to help Marta with the stroller...she approaches her very gently and kind...

...Marta does not like any help or any instruction...although she can not talk, she uses her grunts, screams, and facial expressions to get what she wants with her siblings...letting out a naughty giggle every time. I'm just waiting for Silas to not find it very cute, just once, and come unglued on her like he does his other 2 sisters...

After being home 1 week, I turned a corner...it was a really hard transition for me that first week. I expected it to be. Thanks to my parents for babysitting, getting all 4 kiddos down, so John and I could just sit and talk for a few hours...that really helped both of us get our "bearings" and together are now ready to face life as a family of six...

God has been so good and kind to our family...giving us our hearts desires...a home full of laughter and chaos!! His ways are not our ways, sometimes the road to follow is long and difficult...but, man, it is so worth moving towards Him in obedience when He lays something, big or small, on our hearts!! Worth it all!! So worth it!!!