Jaime Duque Parque

We had another driving adventure...John is officially a pro driving in the crazy, intense, Bogota traffic! This time we ventured to Jaime Duque. It is a large park with rides, a zoo, a monorail, big castles...and lots more...We enjoyed this park when we adopted Silas, and thought it would be fun to return one more time...

Isabel happy to have Camilla back from vacation (and we are happy to have Valeria her mom back) at the hotel...we invited Camilla with us for the day...

...she had to go on the paddle boats...and then did everyone else...


...the little ones were feeling very brave climbing up this big slide...but, once at the top..."Papi, ayude!!!" Daddy was happy to go down the slide with them...

...the dinos a big hit...

...Marta preferred the "patitos..."

Isabel wanted to play and twirl in the castles all day...

Jaime Duque brought back some fun memories of when we ventured here with the Schmitz family and Grandpa and Grandma Vander Maas 4 years ago...and yesterday more fun was had by us all!

Silas and Pisingos

Reflecting back on our Pisingos tour we discovered that Silas was very much affected by being back at Los Pisingos. Although he only lived there for 9 1/2 months, I still wonder if by just being around the sounds, smells, and noise of the babies, if there was something "familiar" about it, even though he has no memory of it...

We have been there 3 times in the past 6 weeks, and after each time, Silas has had more "insecure" moments with our family. It didn't dawn on us early on when we visited. He has not liked going "inside" each time. He is very comfortable playing outside, but, once in the building, he is very quiet and disinterested...Andres the founder of "Friends of Pisingos," also adopted as a baby from Pisingos in Bogota, loves Silas. He said, "I could just take you home for a week and hang out with you." Silas very serious told him, "No, I would not like that...I want to go back to Michigan." Well, Andres was totally just telling him what a speical boy he was...Silas' little mind processed that differently. This past night that we visited, he woke up in the middle of the night with a bad dream in tears...he dreamed that he no longer lived with us, and was returned to Pisingos..he said he does not ever want to be alone...hmmm...makes me wonder if all the "panic" moments he has had in the past, were not a result of the new sisters, or being in a "foreign land." Could it possibly be from visiting the "familiar" lonely feeling he had before he was placed in our family?! We may never know...but, we do know, it was traumatic for him to be there each time...and as much as we tell him it was a wonderful place...he is not so sure about that...and again is fighting hard for attention, a little more intense with everyone than he has been than the last few weeks...it could just be his sensitive spirit reacting to what he witnessed...so much for a little boy to process...God is doing a work in our precious Silas' heart...sometimes the process is painful...but, I again have no doubt that in the end God will use this for His glory...so that our little boy may have a heart more like HIS...that is our prayer!

Pisingos Forever in our Hearts

Today we spent a few hours at Los Pisingos. It was a time to give our gifts (thank you family and friends who gave donations-very much needed and appreciated), play with the kids, talk with the new Director and Founder of "Friends of Pisingos," Carlos and Andres. In Bogota, Pisingos is known as an "institution" doing "charity" work for the under privileged kids...to us, it is the place that formed our family, therefore, always a part of our family and will be forever in our hearts!! Below our family with Carlos and Andres...2 amazing men, doing "God's" work as they call it, loving on, overseeing the care of over a hundred children currently in this institution.

Caroline was very happy to learn we were going to visit there today. When we arrived she was full of smiles and hugs for all her "Tias/Tios!" The children on the other hand, she ignored. She did not want anything to do with them. Many would come running up to me and say "Mami?." And Caroline very firmly would say, "No, es mi Mama!"

Right when we arrived I recognized 2 girls. I could not believe it...John and I looked at a sibling group of 4 sisters a year ago, reading through their file, we really prayed over whether or not we should adopt them. We realized after much thought and prayer that it would be to much for Isabel and Silas to handle, interrupting the birth order, we thought could have been traumatic for Isabel...so, we decided not to pursue them, but, in that process God opened our hearts to requesting a sibling group instead of a healthy baby...I had a really hard time letting these 4 girls go, and would wake up at night praying for them...Below in the picture are 2 of the sisters with Caroline, Marta, and Tia Laura. If it wasn't for the 2 older girls in the picture, our family would not be what it is today...and even better, we discovered that these 4 sisters now have a forever family waiting to meet them from Minnesota!!! God does hear our prayers on behalf of the orphan!!


Many of the older kids wanted to hold Marta. It was a little much for her...she was constantly making sure she saw myself or John out of the corner of her eyes...she didn't cry, but, it tired her out, and was a bit overwhelming for her...


The caretakers "Tias" could not believe how "gordita" little Marta became. It cracked me up...a lot of mouths wide open when they saw her...

Seeing the children of Pisingos today was very difficult for me on one hand, on the other, being near them felt like I was near to the heart of God, as His heart is for the orphan...it was unbelievable to interact, hold them, give them kisses, touch them on their faces, learn their names...honestly, it was painfully beautiful...

This little guy survived an abortion...

...this little girl suffered severe neglect...

...this most precious girl all battered and bruised...

...every child has a name...this little guy, Jesus, one of 3 brothers going to meet his forever family on Monday, and will be coming to WI...Ernie and Christy, I had no idea this was your son...he is such a love. I had tears in my eyes when I gave him a kiss...come quickly!!!

...all a difficult story behind their name...

It' s amazing to see what it takes to run this institution. 500 bottles per day (no exaggeration)...

Caroline was happy to show us her "dormitoro" where she slept...

And one of the highlights was meeting this most precious little girl, Maria...

I was able to give her a hug and kiss from her Daddy and Mommy, and big brother waiting to meet her from Grand Rapids, MI. Silas very happy to meet another Colombiana Amiga coming to MI! She is so tender and sweet...and needs her family very badly!

Ahh...and Isabel very excited to see where she slept as a baby, "played" as a baby...she really took it in. Silas really didn't pay attention...I was very overwhelmed by the number of babies...very sad. Because there are so many, you can see that their just isn't enough arms to go around to give them the nurture that they need...it was very clear that Marta's delays are most likely just "institutional" delays...the longer the babies are their, the more delayed they become...we saw many 12-24 month year olds just laying around doing "tummy time."
(A side note to waiting families...Carlos expects infant adoption to be up this year, due to the amount of infants that they currently house.) It is maxed out, and some of them are moved to another home it is so full.

With the amount of children, I am still amazed by the caretakers care, love, and concern for these precious children!

Carlos is such an amazing man. We enjoyed having an hour with him...learning more about the heart of the institution, the vision, and just simply seeing him engage and love on our kids...everyone loves Tio Carlos. As different at it is with Tia Rosita gone, Carlos is a wonderful man...

After about 2 hours of being there, the kids were playing outside...Caroline came running in looking very disturbed. Carlos said she's had enough, that we should probably take her back to the hotel. He thought that maybe one of the kids said something to her....and sure enough, she let it spill in the taxi. A little girl told her that we came to "return" her and that we were never coming back. Oh how she quietly clinged to me the whole taxi ride home!

It is very evident after our experience today that Pisingos remains a very wonderful foundation...but, with that being said...it is not a family...and seeing the looks on the children's faces today said it all...they all just want a Daddy and Mommy to love them...and the sad reality is, that there are over 143 million orphans in this world...a lot of lifeless sad faces crying for a daddy and mommy tonight! It is such a painful reality...and we saw the faces of this reality today. It was more sobering than the last time. My prayer for those following our journey, that you in some small or big way pray for or consider a way that you can be the hands and feet of Jesus to the crying orphan...

As we were walking up the hill, I took one last look at the place that has loved on, cared for, protected all 4 of our kids for a period of over 3 years...I had to say a prayer of thanksgiving to God for using this place as a "stepping stone" for them into our family...and with Caroline squeezing my hand tight, she looked up at me and smiled and said "Mi Mami!" (that is "My Mommy!")...a year and a half ago she cried over her "mami" not coming to visit her...and today she could proudly say she has a mommy! She was very happy to get back into the taxi and leave Pisingos behind!

Daddy's Back in Bogota

Caroline was very excited to hear that Daddy was coming back...she got all "slicked" up for him! Isabel and I went to the airport late last night and picked him up. It is great to have him with us again! When we arrived back at the hotel at 11:30, Silas and Marta sound asleep...Caroline up waiting to see her Daddy!

So, today, let's just say he's back into the "swing" of simple life in Bogota.

We toured Los Pisingos today...stay tuned for many photos. I'll journal about it later tonight...

Sentimiento Loco!

Ok, so we are feeling a little crazy today! A little stir crazy that is...

It's a holiday in Bogota, and everything is closed down. What do we do?! Actually I have 3 very over tired kids from their late night "movie" night last night...

So, while they are all having a little rest time, I thought I would reflect back on the last (almost) 6 weeks! Wow, has it already been 6 weeks?! Where has time gone?!



I've been journaling a lot about what we've been up to...so, I thought I would give you an update on each of the kids...I'll start with the oldest and work my way through.



Isabel Alexandra...wow, has she been amazing on this journey. 6 weeks and still smiling! I've learned a lot about her personality...how adaptable she is (I always thought she didn't like change...and she has proved me wrong), how she loves adventures, how she enjoys the moment, her spirit is free, and, I knew she enjoyed to dance, but, I had no idea how much life it brings her when she's dancing to Colombian Salsa, or quietly in our room twirling ballet to some christian worship music...dancing gives her life, and we need to continue to nurture this when we return home.



I also discovered that she has a very "bossy" side to her with her siblings. I had no idea this existed in her...she demands a lot out of them, and if they don't meet her expectations, she lets them have it. She is unbelievably protective of Marta. And can get very mad at Caroline if she doesn't play with her just "right." She has grown so much emotionally and spiritually here, I honestly feel like I will be returning home with a much more mature and stronger daughter. Not to say, she is still 6 1/2, and she still has her "melt down" moments, too. This journey has not only been to add 2 new little sisters into her life, but, it has also been an incredible "heritage tour experience" for her. To fellow international adoptive families, I can not encourage you enough to do a homeland tour between the ages of 6-9!!



One more thing...when we went to an El Puente mtg. back when Isabel started Kindergarten, a parent asked a question, "Will my child dream in Spanish?" I thought to myself, that is so silly...it's still their 2nd language, why would they dream in Spanish?! Well, our Isabel talks in her sleep a lot, and we all share one room...it is proven, that yes, she indeed dreams in Spanish. Everytime she talks in her sleep it is in Spanish, not English...amazing!







Silas John... Today we walked by the previous hotel (Zuetana) that we stayed with him for 4 weeks while we adopted him. He felt rather special going on a walk to remember when he was a baby. He has come so far in 6 weeks. His world was rocked, and neither John and I expected or were prepared for what came after the first few weeks with his new sisters, and being in a foreign land. It was painful for all of us to see him make himself sick over it all, and his panic attacks were awful...but, he has had victory over all of this and we are so proud of him!!



I've seen what a sensitive boy he is, what a very "deep" thinker he is (sometimes so deep it's over my head), how much he needs to be encouraged and given time. He is so special with a huge heart, just wanting everyone to love and accept him...and he loves to give love back. He still is a "goof ball." But, I think as he is maturing and becoming more aware of himself, he takes himself much more seriously than he used to...this is true, we learned in preschool, also. He and Caroline have come very far. They play every day, argue every day, laugh every day, make each other cry every day...they are becoming more and more like siblings...and he is done telling me that he wishes we could "return" her...instead, he tells me that he is happy she is in our family! This is huge...no more tears for being a family of 6!!



He still has some intense "melt down" moments...like yesterday when we were doing "school" work", he and Caroline were working on writing letters...she had 3 pages done to his line...he got so mad he threw all of his books, papers, kicked the wall...he yelled at me, "Mom, she's younger than me, I'm smarter, yes I AM! Don't let her work so fast...stop her mom!!!" Ok, so, he is feeling a bit competitive with his new sister...when I tucked him in bed at night he whipsered to me..."Mom, I need you to encourage me more, she can not be in my class at school!" He had himself all worked up that she was going to skip preschool and be in his class...than he went on to say he was not sharing his friends "Chase, Mallory, Regan, Joseph..." with his little sister...so, he still has some emotion and fears...but, because he expresses himself so well we are able to work through them! Funny, today, he wanted to work on his letters with no one around!! He is such a riot...Colombia has been so good for him, and I'm so happy that he overcame his fears of being in Colombia, and can now say that he really likes his birthland...but, his heart will always be at home in Michigan! He's my home boy...just like his daddy!!



Caroline Nicole...6 weeks and still learning more about her each day! Many have asked if she always is so happy. She is a very happy girl, but, as you can see in the picture below, she can turn herself on and off whenever she wants. She has learned from living in an institution to fight for attention. She does that very well. She can make herself cry instantly, she can whine like the best of them, and she can carry on and on for a very long time. It was her way of survival, and she is now learning that she does not need to "survive" she can just be. This is hard for her sometimes. But, I too, have learned what is real, what is fake, when she is trying to "work" me, when she really needs me...it is a process, somedays harder than others...but, she is a very special girl, who does love life, generally is very happy, outgoing, and extremely affectionate!!


And, she, like Silas expresses her feelings very well. She has shared with aching tears how "lonely" she was when she came to Pisingos, how she cried for her mommy to come every day, and she would never come...she has wept with me about this...for only being 2 1/2, her memory is great...she has a memory of her life before that (but, that is her story, one I do not share with others)...and some days, she cries for Pisingos. To her, that was home, that was "normal," for a year and a half of her life. I can tell her "forever and always" we will be your family...but, that doesn't register with her...everything about her life has been moving and change. She stepped out of darkness and walked into light the day she was placed in Pisingos' care. To her Pisingos is very good...she understands, and feels we are good, too...but, still Pisingos is more familiar to her...with that being said, everyday she is becoming more and more comfortable. Her melt-downs much less intense and becoming less and less...she is the reason that staying in Colombia for an extended period is so important. Everyday she learns to trust us in her comfortable environment, familiar language, and foods. This will allow her to feel more safe and secure when we do finally return home!

I am so grateful that she expresses herself so well. I always know where I stand with both of my 4 year olds! With all of the above being said...Caroline is a joy to have as a daughter. She is very organized, extremely smart, and truly, the below picture really shows her true colors...I just didn't want to give the wrong impression that she is always "happy go lucky." This is a huge adjustment for her...and for just turning 4, is one very brave, sweet girl!



Marta Tatiana...the baby of the family...she is sweet, and sassy, knows what she wants, don't get in her way...give her what she wants, or you will hear about it little girl! That is Marta...coming to us very "infant" like...John and I both thinking she probably had some serious special needs...6 weeks later, I see her determination for life, her determination to keep up with the big kids! Not to say, she has arrived, she still is delayed...and eating is still a major issue...but, I really have no doubts that with a lot of work and possible therapy when we return home, she will be just fine!

I can relate to this little bundle in some odd sort of a way, being the baby myself. It's funny how natural it is for Silas to pester and tease her more than anyone else (sound familiar Rod?) And he, like my big brother, loves to tease and come up with funny names...well, I am fighting hard for this little girl because I know what it feels like to be called something I didn't like...(for me it was "Stinky"-yes, until Iwas 21 years old!) Silas, can't seem to get away from calling her "Farta!" I'm trying to lay the law down...but, with all the dairy she has been eating...you can imagine what happens often....so, he finds it very humorous at the dinner table to say, "Marta just let a big Farta..." The giggles from the other kids, the more he calls her it...he has had more timeouts over this...

Really she is a blast...her grunts and wanting to talk are so sweet. Her tantrums intense. Her crawling and getting into everything shows how curious she is towards life! My favorite, is in the afternoon the kids are usually running around the hotel playing and her and I have a nice quiet moment of snuggle time before her afternoon nap! She is a love...and will keep life interesting for all of us!


So, you can see...lots we've experienced and overcome in 6 weeks...

Our Representative keeps telling me me how lucky I am to have such wonderful, beautiful, children...she has shared stories of families where it just hasn't gone this well...

...and I told her...I am so very blessed that God has chosen us to parent, not only children beautiful on the outside, but, beautiful on the inside, too! They belong to Him...and what a privilege that He entrusted them to us!! Not every moment is easy...but, that is part of this great adventure of learning to walk by faith and not by sight each moment of every day!!

Un Dia con Nuestros Abuelos Colombianos

We have been very spoiled with how busy all our Colombian friends are keeping us. I thought with the quiet hotel, John being gone, I would get a little stir crazy...not the case this week. So many loving, caring people giving our family more opportunities to see Bogota, and it's surrounding cities. It's been so good for our kids...and today, we were invited to go with our Abuelitos Colombianos "country club."

Abuelo Julio was in the Navy for many years, and this is a place their family often came. They still will periodically come for Sunday brunch and mass. It is much like a hotel/country club, with pools, tennis, park, mini golf...etc. Did I tell you our dear abuelitos are 86 and 81 years old...married 55 years with 6 children?! I just love them, and our kids do, too! I've learned more about what it was like raising a family in Colombia, life in the Navy, all their children living in the states and Canada, and even the heartache of having to sell their home because of a horrible incident that happened 5 years ago. Unfortunately, that is a very real issue in Colombia, Abuela Margarita still has tears talking about it. But, it is evident that their love for Bogota remains!

So, they picked us up in their fancy car. The kids very happy to have "space" in the back seat. Abuela drove (very interesting, in Bogota, their is a limit of days that you can drive your car...many only have 2-3 days a week that they can be on the road, I can't imagine...lots of carpooling for the kids to school.) The kids got a kick out of Abuela's lead foot. In the city their is a lot of stop and go, so, I was praying Caroline wasn't going to throw up all over their car. She looked very sick on the way there, so, I had them do lots of songs and rhymes to take her mind off it...whew...she made it! Abuela is a sharp woman and very youthful!

The kids had lots of fun in the morning swimming in the pool, they treated us all to a delicious lunch, played outside for an hour, and returned back with 4 very tired kids!

This weekend we are going to "lay low" catch up on school work, and hang out at the hotel...we have been on many adventures while John has been gone. What a blessing to make time go quickly, and allow our kids to see more of their birth land!

Tonight John is in Chicago getting ready for his dear friend, Bill VanTuinen's wedding! I'm so happy he could make it home for this, and I would have so loved to have been there!! He has stayed very busy at home, feeling very good about seeing our wonderful customers on Gun Lake, bidding out some work, and having great meals with our family! Thanks family for taking such good care of him!! He really needed this time to be home...being Mr. Mom 24/7 is not his thing...but, I have to say he has done a remarkable job, and I will be very happy to have him back on Tuesday night!

The courts also will reopen on Tuesday, January 12. Our Representative seems more optimistic this time around, but, I feel God has prepared me for either. We have a tentative return of January 27th, and regardless if we get Sentencia or not...John, Isabel, and Silas will return home on that date. If it happens sooner, we will all fly home together sooner. Typically, once Sentencia is given out, it takes 4-5 business days to accomplish all the paperwork...visas, US Embassy, US Doctor Visit, etc...Many have been asking if I'm missing home...as much as I LOVE home, I really don't get home sick. I realize this is probably our final adoption, and thinking about home to me is a waste time (and can quickly bring the kids down). This stay is totally in God's hands, so, why wouldn't I want to engage in the culture and people that are so near and dear to our family's heart...the minute I step foot on the airplane, you better believe my heart will be excited and anticipating all that the following weeks will hold with family and friends...I can remember flying into Atlanta, Georgia, when we adopted Isabel, wanting to kiss the ground, I wept...it felt so good to be in America! But, until then, my heart remains in Colombia, with my kids, and their most beautiful birth country!!!

Panaca Farm

Today we were treated by Katya and Isabel to a day on a very large farm! The drive was spectacular. We passed Jaime Duque Parque where we went when we adopted Silas. I couldn't believe that when we drove passed, our Isabel said, "Hey, there's Jaime Duque Parque!" I could not believe that she remembered this from when she was 2 1/2. This was one of our most "scenic" days yet in Colombia...and we had a true South American experience today!

Every where you go in Colombia there are Navidad scenes set up...the kids love seeing these, and have wondered why baby Jesus is missing...Tia Isabel tells us that they only put Baby Jesus in the Nativities on Christmas Eve to Christmas Day...

Ok...so our first stop was the "cerrdos"...I felt bad, but, I couldn't stop laughing. I hope this didn't offend anyone. I just have never seen so many people show up for a pig race...

...at the very end, they call the kids down to join in the fun, and race with the pigs...Isabel and Silas opted not to do this...

...the entertainment and singing was a blast...although my Spanish is minimal, I had a hoot watching Isabel and Silas take it all in with giggles...I'm thinking how in the world are they understanding all of this...it still amazes me, and I witness it every day...

So, the farm was not just pigs, cows, horses, dogs, birds...yes, the tour guide made us go see the worms...not such a big deal, until they started telling how good worms are for you, and that they cook with them in hamburgers and different meats...I felt myself gag...and then Isabel, being our adventurer, said, "Mom, I would totally eat that worm!" Ay...not one more hamburger for me in Colombia!!

The favorite area was the horses. I went down memory lane watching the "cowboys" barrel race their horses! The "carousel" at the farm was not as fancy as it is in the states...the kids got to ride burros! Caroline was totally freaked out, so, I had to walk with her around all the strunts to help her over come yet another fear...

The favorite were the pony rides. Not just those short pony rides you might get at the fair, in Colombia, they go for very long walks, Iwondered when the kids were going to return...they all had a blast on their ponies...

And, to top the day off, Tia Isabel took us to a little outdoor resturaunt outside of Panaca to let us experience some "real" Colombian food. Driving up to it, I was picturing the raw meat we saw hung on our way to Giradot...a bit uneasy about what we were going to eat, I did not want to offend anyone, and said yes to everything they were telling me to try...some of it was actually not that bad...but, I will be very surprised if I get through the next few days without that yucky stomach stuff...

Really it was a wonderful day experiencing more of Colombia...I still can't believe Tia Isabel and Katya treated us to something so special!