Sentimiento Loco!

Ok, so we are feeling a little crazy today! A little stir crazy that is...

It's a holiday in Bogota, and everything is closed down. What do we do?! Actually I have 3 very over tired kids from their late night "movie" night last night...

So, while they are all having a little rest time, I thought I would reflect back on the last (almost) 6 weeks! Wow, has it already been 6 weeks?! Where has time gone?!



I've been journaling a lot about what we've been up to...so, I thought I would give you an update on each of the kids...I'll start with the oldest and work my way through.



Isabel Alexandra...wow, has she been amazing on this journey. 6 weeks and still smiling! I've learned a lot about her personality...how adaptable she is (I always thought she didn't like change...and she has proved me wrong), how she loves adventures, how she enjoys the moment, her spirit is free, and, I knew she enjoyed to dance, but, I had no idea how much life it brings her when she's dancing to Colombian Salsa, or quietly in our room twirling ballet to some christian worship music...dancing gives her life, and we need to continue to nurture this when we return home.



I also discovered that she has a very "bossy" side to her with her siblings. I had no idea this existed in her...she demands a lot out of them, and if they don't meet her expectations, she lets them have it. She is unbelievably protective of Marta. And can get very mad at Caroline if she doesn't play with her just "right." She has grown so much emotionally and spiritually here, I honestly feel like I will be returning home with a much more mature and stronger daughter. Not to say, she is still 6 1/2, and she still has her "melt down" moments, too. This journey has not only been to add 2 new little sisters into her life, but, it has also been an incredible "heritage tour experience" for her. To fellow international adoptive families, I can not encourage you enough to do a homeland tour between the ages of 6-9!!



One more thing...when we went to an El Puente mtg. back when Isabel started Kindergarten, a parent asked a question, "Will my child dream in Spanish?" I thought to myself, that is so silly...it's still their 2nd language, why would they dream in Spanish?! Well, our Isabel talks in her sleep a lot, and we all share one room...it is proven, that yes, she indeed dreams in Spanish. Everytime she talks in her sleep it is in Spanish, not English...amazing!







Silas John... Today we walked by the previous hotel (Zuetana) that we stayed with him for 4 weeks while we adopted him. He felt rather special going on a walk to remember when he was a baby. He has come so far in 6 weeks. His world was rocked, and neither John and I expected or were prepared for what came after the first few weeks with his new sisters, and being in a foreign land. It was painful for all of us to see him make himself sick over it all, and his panic attacks were awful...but, he has had victory over all of this and we are so proud of him!!



I've seen what a sensitive boy he is, what a very "deep" thinker he is (sometimes so deep it's over my head), how much he needs to be encouraged and given time. He is so special with a huge heart, just wanting everyone to love and accept him...and he loves to give love back. He still is a "goof ball." But, I think as he is maturing and becoming more aware of himself, he takes himself much more seriously than he used to...this is true, we learned in preschool, also. He and Caroline have come very far. They play every day, argue every day, laugh every day, make each other cry every day...they are becoming more and more like siblings...and he is done telling me that he wishes we could "return" her...instead, he tells me that he is happy she is in our family! This is huge...no more tears for being a family of 6!!



He still has some intense "melt down" moments...like yesterday when we were doing "school" work", he and Caroline were working on writing letters...she had 3 pages done to his line...he got so mad he threw all of his books, papers, kicked the wall...he yelled at me, "Mom, she's younger than me, I'm smarter, yes I AM! Don't let her work so fast...stop her mom!!!" Ok, so, he is feeling a bit competitive with his new sister...when I tucked him in bed at night he whipsered to me..."Mom, I need you to encourage me more, she can not be in my class at school!" He had himself all worked up that she was going to skip preschool and be in his class...than he went on to say he was not sharing his friends "Chase, Mallory, Regan, Joseph..." with his little sister...so, he still has some emotion and fears...but, because he expresses himself so well we are able to work through them! Funny, today, he wanted to work on his letters with no one around!! He is such a riot...Colombia has been so good for him, and I'm so happy that he overcame his fears of being in Colombia, and can now say that he really likes his birthland...but, his heart will always be at home in Michigan! He's my home boy...just like his daddy!!



Caroline Nicole...6 weeks and still learning more about her each day! Many have asked if she always is so happy. She is a very happy girl, but, as you can see in the picture below, she can turn herself on and off whenever she wants. She has learned from living in an institution to fight for attention. She does that very well. She can make herself cry instantly, she can whine like the best of them, and she can carry on and on for a very long time. It was her way of survival, and she is now learning that she does not need to "survive" she can just be. This is hard for her sometimes. But, I too, have learned what is real, what is fake, when she is trying to "work" me, when she really needs me...it is a process, somedays harder than others...but, she is a very special girl, who does love life, generally is very happy, outgoing, and extremely affectionate!!


And, she, like Silas expresses her feelings very well. She has shared with aching tears how "lonely" she was when she came to Pisingos, how she cried for her mommy to come every day, and she would never come...she has wept with me about this...for only being 2 1/2, her memory is great...she has a memory of her life before that (but, that is her story, one I do not share with others)...and some days, she cries for Pisingos. To her, that was home, that was "normal," for a year and a half of her life. I can tell her "forever and always" we will be your family...but, that doesn't register with her...everything about her life has been moving and change. She stepped out of darkness and walked into light the day she was placed in Pisingos' care. To her Pisingos is very good...she understands, and feels we are good, too...but, still Pisingos is more familiar to her...with that being said, everyday she is becoming more and more comfortable. Her melt-downs much less intense and becoming less and less...she is the reason that staying in Colombia for an extended period is so important. Everyday she learns to trust us in her comfortable environment, familiar language, and foods. This will allow her to feel more safe and secure when we do finally return home!

I am so grateful that she expresses herself so well. I always know where I stand with both of my 4 year olds! With all of the above being said...Caroline is a joy to have as a daughter. She is very organized, extremely smart, and truly, the below picture really shows her true colors...I just didn't want to give the wrong impression that she is always "happy go lucky." This is a huge adjustment for her...and for just turning 4, is one very brave, sweet girl!



Marta Tatiana...the baby of the family...she is sweet, and sassy, knows what she wants, don't get in her way...give her what she wants, or you will hear about it little girl! That is Marta...coming to us very "infant" like...John and I both thinking she probably had some serious special needs...6 weeks later, I see her determination for life, her determination to keep up with the big kids! Not to say, she has arrived, she still is delayed...and eating is still a major issue...but, I really have no doubts that with a lot of work and possible therapy when we return home, she will be just fine!

I can relate to this little bundle in some odd sort of a way, being the baby myself. It's funny how natural it is for Silas to pester and tease her more than anyone else (sound familiar Rod?) And he, like my big brother, loves to tease and come up with funny names...well, I am fighting hard for this little girl because I know what it feels like to be called something I didn't like...(for me it was "Stinky"-yes, until Iwas 21 years old!) Silas, can't seem to get away from calling her "Farta!" I'm trying to lay the law down...but, with all the dairy she has been eating...you can imagine what happens often....so, he finds it very humorous at the dinner table to say, "Marta just let a big Farta..." The giggles from the other kids, the more he calls her it...he has had more timeouts over this...

Really she is a blast...her grunts and wanting to talk are so sweet. Her tantrums intense. Her crawling and getting into everything shows how curious she is towards life! My favorite, is in the afternoon the kids are usually running around the hotel playing and her and I have a nice quiet moment of snuggle time before her afternoon nap! She is a love...and will keep life interesting for all of us!


So, you can see...lots we've experienced and overcome in 6 weeks...

Our Representative keeps telling me me how lucky I am to have such wonderful, beautiful, children...she has shared stories of families where it just hasn't gone this well...

...and I told her...I am so very blessed that God has chosen us to parent, not only children beautiful on the outside, but, beautiful on the inside, too! They belong to Him...and what a privilege that He entrusted them to us!! Not every moment is easy...but, that is part of this great adventure of learning to walk by faith and not by sight each moment of every day!!