Silas and Pisingos

Reflecting back on our Pisingos tour we discovered that Silas was very much affected by being back at Los Pisingos. Although he only lived there for 9 1/2 months, I still wonder if by just being around the sounds, smells, and noise of the babies, if there was something "familiar" about it, even though he has no memory of it...

We have been there 3 times in the past 6 weeks, and after each time, Silas has had more "insecure" moments with our family. It didn't dawn on us early on when we visited. He has not liked going "inside" each time. He is very comfortable playing outside, but, once in the building, he is very quiet and disinterested...Andres the founder of "Friends of Pisingos," also adopted as a baby from Pisingos in Bogota, loves Silas. He said, "I could just take you home for a week and hang out with you." Silas very serious told him, "No, I would not like that...I want to go back to Michigan." Well, Andres was totally just telling him what a speical boy he was...Silas' little mind processed that differently. This past night that we visited, he woke up in the middle of the night with a bad dream in tears...he dreamed that he no longer lived with us, and was returned to Pisingos..he said he does not ever want to be alone...hmmm...makes me wonder if all the "panic" moments he has had in the past, were not a result of the new sisters, or being in a "foreign land." Could it possibly be from visiting the "familiar" lonely feeling he had before he was placed in our family?! We may never know...but, we do know, it was traumatic for him to be there each time...and as much as we tell him it was a wonderful place...he is not so sure about that...and again is fighting hard for attention, a little more intense with everyone than he has been than the last few weeks...it could just be his sensitive spirit reacting to what he witnessed...so much for a little boy to process...God is doing a work in our precious Silas' heart...sometimes the process is painful...but, I again have no doubt that in the end God will use this for His glory...so that our little boy may have a heart more like HIS...that is our prayer!